June 5, 2012, LOS ANGELES — The Melvins will attempt to become the Guinness World Record holders for the first band to tour the full United States and D.C. in 51 days with a tour kicking off Sept. 5 in Anchorage, Alaska and wrapping up Oct. 25 in Honolulu, Hawaii.

“We figured it was time for us to do something REALLY crazy,” said Osborne. “51 shows in 50 states plus 1 on D.C. and all in 51 days?  Jeez!  I wonder if we can do it?”

The tour, which will feature the Melvins Lite line-up of Buzz Osborne, Dale Crover and Trevor Dunn, also marks the first time in the band’s near 30-year history that they will perform in Alaska, New Hampshire, Delaware and Hawaii.

The Melvins Performance of “The War on Wisdom” from a recent episode of Last Call with Carson Daly

Arriving in-stores and online today is Freak Puke, the debut release from Melvins Lite that Spin recently described as “a unique detour for the long-running band” and adding “one of the loudest bands on earth has perfectly siphoned their gloomy energy into evil cocktail jazz.”

Trevor Dunn

“We had seen Trevor playing upright bass in a jazz setting and thought that we could utilize that for a recording project,” explained Crover. “This is something different from the two drummer/big hair line-up, which we plan on continuing with as well.”

Prior to the Fall, the Melvins have a full spate of appearances.  The band perform two shows in conjunction with Subliminal Projects: June 8 at The Echoplex in Los Angeles and June 30 at  TT Underground Gallery in New York.  Buzz Osborne will be a guest on Fox News’ “Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld” on June 28.   Melvins Lite will also venture north for a three week trek of primarily Canadian tour dates that kicks off on July 1 (dates below).

The Melvins 51-date United States tour dates:

September 5    Anchorage, AK    Bear Tooth Theatre and Pub
September 6    Seattle, WA    Showbox at The Market
September 7    Oregon    TBA
September 8    Boise, ID    Neurolux Lounge
September 9    Missoula, MT    Top Hat Lounge
September 10    Salt Lake City, UT    Club Sound
September 11    Casper, WY    TBA
September 12    Denver, CO    Bluebird Theatre
September 13    Lawrence, KS    The Bottleneck
September 14    Columbia, MO    The Blue Note
September 15    Omaha, NE    The Waiting Room
September 16    Des Moines, IA    House of Bricks
September 17    Sioux Falls, SD    The Vault
September 18    Fargo, ND    The Aquarium
September 19    Minneapolis, MN    Grumpy’s
September 20    Madison, WI    High Noon Saloon
September 21    Chicago, IL    Double Door
September 22    Indianapolis, IN    The Vogue Theatre
September 23    Louisville, KY    The Vernon Club
September 24    Detroit, MI    Smalls
September 25    Cleveland, OH    Grog Shop
September 26    Morgantown, WV    123 Pleasant Street
September 27    Jermyn, PA    Eleanor Rigby’s
September 28    South Burlington, VT    Higher Ground
September 29    Dover, NH    Dover Brickhouse
September 30    Portland, ME    Asylum

October 1    Boston, MA    Paradise Rock Club
October 2    Pawtucket, RI    The Met Cafe
October 3    New Haven, CT    Toad’s Place
October 4    Brooklyn, NY    Music Hall of Williamsburg
October 5    Hoboken, NJ    Maxwell’s
October 6    Wilmington, DE    Mojo 13
October 7    Baltimore, MD    Ottobar
October 8    Washington, DC    Black Cat
October 9    Charlottesville, VA    Jefferson Theatre
October 10    Carrboro, NC    Cat’s Cradle
October 11    Knoxville, TN    The Square Room
October 12    Greenville, SC    The Handle Bar
October 13    Athens, GA    40 Watt Club
October 14    Birmingham, AL    Bottle Tree
October 15    Pensacola, FL    Vinyl Music Hall
October 16    Jackson, MS    Duling Hall
October 17    Little Rock, AR    Juanita’s Cantina
October 18    Baton Rouge, LA    Spanish Moon
October 19    Austin, TX    Mohawk
October 20    Norman, OK    Opolis Production
October 21    Albuquerque, NM    Launchpad
October 22    Phoenix, AZ    Crescent Ballroom
October 23    Las Vegas, NV    Artifice
October 24    Los Angeles, CA    Hollywood Forever Cemetery
October 25    Honolulu, HI    The Republik

Melvins Lite Canada + tour dates (Retox opens all dates except July 4 and 20):

July 1    Rochester, NY    Water Street Music Hall
July 3    Montreal, QC    Corona Theatre
July 4    Ottawa, ON    Cisco Ottawa Bluesfest
July 5    Toronto, ON    Opera House
July 6    London, ON    Call The Office
July 7    Hamilton, ON    Club Absinthe
July 9    Winnipeg, MB    West End Cultural Center
July 10    Regina, SK    The Exchange
July 11    Saskatoon, SK    Louis’ Pub
July 12    Calgary, AB    Republik
July 13    Edmonton, AB    Starlite Room
July 15    Vancouver, BC    Venue
July 17    Bellingham, WA    Wild Buffalo House of Music
July 18    Portland, OR    Hawthorne Theatre
July 20    San Francisco, CA    Slim’s

Whoa. Spread the word guys! First Scion A/V models a car after the Melvins and now they’re attempting record breaking tour pace. It’s almost like they become stronger with age.

Ladder Devils Post New Song: Good Enough by orlandooom407

Ladder Devils, (Brutal Panda Records) would go quite nicely at a show with Akimbo and label mates Whores. In support of their newest effort since late 2010, entitled Nowhere Plans, they’ve leaked a song via the Brooklyn Vegan Soundcloud page. This song brings a lot of chunky, and equally fuzzy, low end along with a head (rock) rollin’  rhythm. Them devils are fixin’ to support friends Harkonen, The Atlas Moth and, coincidentally, Whores in their home town Philadelphia on their upcoming mini tour:


Source via Brooklyn Vegan

Whores – Ruiner by orlandooom407

My love of Whores is absolutely no secret [insert obligatory dumbass remark here]. I’ve been touting how fucking incredible this band is since the first time I saw them. Truth be told, I had absolutely no idea who they were, and was just there to see my homies in Junior Bruce rock out. The first thing I noticed was their out-of-control rigs, and that their drummer had set his kit up sideways. Other than that, they’re rather unassuming looking fellas, and I didn’t really expect a whole lot. Yes, I know that sounds jaded, but it’s the truth. We’ve all sat through entirely too many god awful bands before. Absolutely nothing could’ve prepared me for the unadulterated sonic incursion that was about to be beaten mercilessly into my soul through my ear canals. It took me til about half way through the first song to realize what the hell it was that was actually happening to me. I, for the first time in god only knows how long, was being completely blown away by a band I knew absolutely nothing about. To say it was a beautiful thing is the biggest understatement I’ve made in years. I was instantly hooked. All I could think was “Fucking finally! A band that truly embodies everything that rock ‘n roll is supposed to be about!”

Since that day, I’ve forged a friendship with the band, and not only do they kick total ass as a band, but they’re some of the nicest, and more importantly HUMBLE people I’ve ever met. Which brings me to my next point. This three piece is from Atlanta, GA. A city that is absolutely stacked with amazing bands. As far as being humble: Whores would never come out, and say this. But I’m not in Whores, and I absolutely will. They are hands down, and without a doubt the best band Atlanta has, had, or will have for the forseeable future. It amazes me how much ease I can say such a thing like that with, but there’s not even remotely a second thought for me. It just is what it is. Everything they do is done with what seems to be this effortless precision. It’s truly a pleasure to witness.

Okay! Okay! Enough of my obvious fanboy rhetoric. Let’s get down to the business of why we’re actually here. That would be that yesterday was the release of their EP Ruiner out on Brutal Panda Records (http://brutalpandarecords.com/). There’s a couple of things that Whores do to me that drive me absolutely insane (but in a good way). Their live show is so fucking intense that I almost feel bad putting other bands on a bill with them. If you’re lucky enough to share the stage with these guys, bring your big boy/girl game, or you’re gonna get blown right the fuck off of said stage. Their live show also makes this the most difficult record I’ve reviewed to date. This is in no way saying anything negative about the record, or the band. It’s just that I’ve spoiled myself with their live show, and I’ve even said to singer/guitarist Christian Lembach a couple of times that I feel it’s impossible for an engineer to capture what it is they really are as a band in a studio setting. (Wait! I was supposed to knock that fanboy rhetoric shit off. Damn it!)

If I only had one word to describe Ruiner, it would be “thick”. Luckily for me, I have as many words as I want. Ruiner kicks off on the A-side with the track Daddy’s Money. I’m not sure if this track is directed at anyone specific, but it can most certainly be applied toward the sniveling little asshole Hollywood elite. You know, those talentless hacks that plague our airwaves just because they’re the heirs to some corporate throne, but have absolutely jack shit to actually offer humanity. The ones that get busted with illicit drugs, and buy their way out with a slap on the wrist by getting sent off to some country club in Beverly Hills. Whereas if it were you, or I that got busted with the same thing, we’d be in one phase or another of the penal system for the next 5-10 years. I like to think of Daddy’s Money as an anthematic “FUCK YOU!” to them. Pay to win, indeed. That shit won’t last forever, though.

The second track on the A-side is Fake Life. Fake life is beautiful in it’s simplicity. What I mean by that the only lyrics to the song are “How do you like your fake life? I want it and I got to have it”. Straight to the jugular lyrically, and musically a kick-ass rock ‘n roll song that could get Stephen Hawking’s hips a swingin’.

Rounding out the A-side is my personal favorite track on Ruiner: Shower Time. Falling just short of three minutes, this track is so blistering it leaves you with what can only be described as “speaker-burn”. The only thing I ask is the aphids and the ants don’t have their way with this band anytime soon.

The B-side of Ruiner has two tracks. Starting off with the longest, and slowest song on this phenominal piece of art: Straight Down. Yes, Straight Down has a bit of a slower tempo to it. Make no mistake: it rocks, and it rocks fucking hard. Concluding the record is Tell Me Something Scientific. This track will always be near, and dear to my heart as it is the first song I ever heard by Whores. Both live, and recorded. It is the initial song that had me hooked from the very beginning.

Now, perhaps you’re asking yourself by this point what this band even sounds like. Well, it’s rather hard for me to describe. There’s not really a genre, or sub-genre I can just carelessly cram Whores into. Though their influences should be evident to everyone, there’s not a really a band I can, or would compare them to. They’re just Whores. Are they heavy? Without a doubt. Are they loud? It doesn’t come any louder. Are they fun as all hell to rock out to? Well, I wouldn’t haven’t written all this slurping fanboy stuff if they weren’t. What I will say about Whores is they have the uncanny ability to take me back to the early/mid 90’s, and make me feel like a young kid discovering new and interesting music for the first time. Not a lot of bands do that for me these days. So, do yourself a favor and head on over to brutalpandarecords.com, and purchase this absolute gem. It is worthy of anyone’s collection.

Check out the digital copy of Ruiner on Whores’ Bandcamp page by clicking here.

– Ryan NinetyProof Pemberton

New Videos of Primate, Whores and Junior Bruce! by orlandooom407

So stoked that Melanie Maher caught footage of Tuesday’s show at Will’s Pub. Check out these awesome videos of Primate, Whores, and  Junior Bruce below: